Funny Twitter Tweets

"Why doesn't coffee come out of faucets yet? This is America." -- @curlycomedy (Abbi Crutchfield)

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"Chris Bosh sent his wife to Paris for her birthday and a pre-playoff journey. Not to be outdone, I vacuumed without being asked. " -- @ByTimReynolds (Tim Reynolds)


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"Would a resurrected Jesus have a chance in a "Stand Your Ground" society?" -- @fittedsweats (Jeff Johnson)