You know you’re just as cute as a lil’ button when you can play peek-a-boo with half of your face and still look like springtime’s first daisy as rainbows splash sun sparkles all over it from heaven.
If this ever happens to you lunge at her and impale a diamond ring on that thing.
Yes, she’s a bit Eurotrashy. But is there anybody alive looking at this that doesn’t want to just sink their teeth into her perineum and wave her around in the air like a great white does to a baby seal on Discovery Channel Shark Week?
God is a goddamn asshole. Remember when you were 14 and all you did was beat off and dream of the day one of these would be in your life? What a waste of tens of thousands of boners.
Should we be thanking Mark Ronson for all these 60s chicks everywhere? All my balls, including my eye ones, want to know where to send the card.
Hang on a sec, shouldn't you be five inches tall and gyrating on some Hawaiian's dashboard instead of wrecking my ability to get anything done for the rest of the day?
Photographs/Text from the Do's section of the Do's & Don'ts at Vice.com