AA(P) Sabbatical

Automotive Acne (Productions) is currently on hiatus.

Thanks for visiting.

Sincerely,

"Allan Smithee"

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Helpful Household Tips

How To Get Your Security Deposit Back: Clean Your Filthy Apartment

ABCs: Talking Heads & Adverts

Was watching "respected" news show 'This Week' last Sunday and have to say it was utter crap & an hour wasted. Very shallow analysis re: the issues. It's embarrassing how short the American attention span & news-cycle is.

During one segment, the panel kept yabbering on about "no boots on the ground" for whatever new country we're planning to go to war with this time. It seems the details may change but the pro-war narrative remains constant.

Note: This PSA sponsored by BP, Goldman$achs, and Julie's Corner Bar (Port Richmond - Philadelphia)

postscript: wonder if the chemical (weapon) alleged in Syria is the same as the one that U.S. Armed Forces in Fallujah Iraq used back in 2004 (white phosphorus aka "Willy Pete")?


addendum: this is sort of an off-topic comment but Diane Sawyer of ABC World News comes across as a blind hunchback when anchoring though I watched her a couple of months ago when she wore dark heavy-framed glasses... oh my gosh! Such an Intelligent & Beautiful Woman!! MORE PLEASE!!!

Stream: The Replacements - Live Recording

Mats Reunion Gig - 1st Show in 22 Years - Riot Fest Toronto - August 25, 2013

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Hat-Tip: LHB (blog)

Note: Title Link - Dangerous Minds.net

Beer Cheer

(*) Scientists Invent Hangover-Free Beer

(*) List: The Top 10 Beers Worldwide

(*) Just What America Needs: Crabbie’s Alcoholic Ginger Beer

(*) Top Five Beer Brands Implicated in Emergency Room Visits

(*) Unique Artisanal Beers: Hill Farmstead

(*) Amount Each MLB Team Charges For An Ounce of Beer At Their Home Stadium

(*) Best Beer Hangover Cure

BH - Twofer (+ One)

(*) How a Black Hole Really Works

The black hole at the center of our galaxy has been on a near-starvation diet for almost a million years—but now it's time for a snack.

(*) A Black Hole Mystery Wrapped in a Firewall Paradox

This time, they say, Einstein might really be wrong.


(*) MIT Technology Review: Black Hole Analogue Discovered in South Atlantic Ocean

Vortices in the South Atlantic are mathematically equivalent to black holes, say physicists, an idea that could lead to new ways of understanding how currents transport oil and garbage across oceans

Bob Dylan: Portrait of A Self Portrait

The Bootleg Series, Vol. 10 – Another Self Portrait (1969-1971)

CD 1

1 Went To See The Gypsy (demo)
2 In Search Of Little Sadie (without overdubs, Self Portrait)
3 Pretty Saro (unreleased, Self Portrait)
4 Alberta #3 (alternate version, Self Portrait)
5 Spanish Is The Loving Tongue (unreleased, Self Portrait)
6 Annie’s Going To Sing Her Song (unreleased, Self Portrait)
7 Time Passes Slowly #1 (alternate version, New Morning)
8 Only A Hobo (unreleased, Greatest Hits II)
9 Minstrel Boy (unreleased, The Basement Tapes)
10 I Threw It All Away (alternate version, Nashville Skyline)
11 Railroad Bill (unreleased, Self Portrait)
12 Thirsty Boots (unreleased, Self Portrait)
13 This Evening So Soon (unreleased, Self Portrait)
14 These Hands (unreleased, Self Portrait)
15 Little Sadie (without overdubs, Self Portrait)
16 House Carpenter (unreleased, Self Portrait)
17 All The Tired Horses (without overdubs, Self Portrait)

CD 2

1 If Not For You (alternate version, New Morning)
2 Wallflower (alternate version, 1971)
3 Wigwam (original version without overdubs, Self Portrait)
4 Days Of ’49 (original version without overdubs, Self Portrait)
5 Working On A Guru (unreleased, New Morning)
6 Country Pie (alternate version, Nashville Skyline)
7 I’ll Be Your Baby Tonight (Live With The Band, Isle Of Wight 1969)
8 Highway 61 Revisited (Live With The Band, Isle Of Wight 1969)
9 Copper Kettle (without overdubs, Self Portrait)
10 Bring Me A Little Water (unreleased, New Morning)
11 Sign On The Window (with orchestral overdubs, New Morning)
12 Tattle O’Day (unreleased, Self Portrait)
13 If Dogs Run Free (alternate version, New Morning)
14 New Morning (with horn section overdubs, New Morning)
15 Went To See The Gypsy (alternate version, New Morning)
16 Belle Isle (without overdubs, Self Portrait)
17 Time Passes Slowly #2 (alternate version, New Morning)
18 When I Paint My Masterpiece (demo)


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NPR - Stream 15 Songs from 'Another Self Portrait (1969-1971): The Bootleg Series Vol. 10'

Spectrum

Left

(*) In a Powerful Speech, Noam Chomsky Lays Out How The Majority of U.S. Policies Are Practically The Opposite of What Wide Swaths of The American Public Wants

Chomsky: The U.S. Behaves Less Like A Democracy, More Like A Plutocracy


(*) Why Do Some Movements Work While Others Wilt?

March on Washington: Four Guidelines to Beat 'The Man'



Right

(*) Should Voting Be Made Harder?

Pro-Opinion Piece by David Bozeman (former Libertarian Party Chairman)


(*) Sushi & Lobster Money: America's Parasitic End?

Fox News - Meet Another Food-Stamp Queen... And This Time He's a Surfer Dude



Center

(*) The Efforts To Change The Way Public Money Is Managed Are Motivated, In No Small Part, By The Big Fees And Lackluster Performance That Many Hedge Funds And Private Equity Firms Have Delivered To Their Biggest Clients In Recent Years

NY Times: Dodging Wall Street To Cut Fees, Public Funds Take Control of Assets


(*) A Letter to Katharine Graham Offers An Early Window Into How Warren Buffett Thinks About Investing.

1975: The Buffett Memo That Saved The Washington Post's Pension Fund


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Beautiful Decay: Jan Kempenaers

Abandonded Yugoslavia-Era Monuments Look As If They Were Taken From The Future Past

Socialist-era monuments dot the countryside of the lands that once made up Yugoslavia, many of them World War II and concentration camp memorials. The majority of the the monuments were commissioned by then president Josip Broz Tito during the 1960′s and 70′s. Photographer Jan Kempanaers toured the countries that once made up Yugoslavia to document the monuments in this series of photographs. With the fall of socialism and the disintegration of Yugoslavia, the monuments were largely abandoned. The monuments’ neglect is apparent and contrasts severely against their futuristic aesthetic.

The grouping of monuments have not only been abandoned by visitors but also of their meaning and symbolism. They ask serious questions regarding the nature of monuments in the sculptural tradition. What is a memorial when it no longer memorializes anything? -- Danny Olda


Note: Click Title Link For More Photographs

Anna Herman: Picnic Plate

Shredded Chicken Summer Roll With Miso Green Beans and Cabbage

Makes 8 rolls

1 clove garlic, peeled and minced fine
11/2 teaspoons mild miso
¼ cup tamari or soy sauce
3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
4 small chicken thighs (bone in) or
1 whole chicken breast (bone in)
24 string beans, blanched and cooled
3 cups very thinly sliced napa or
savoy cabbage
Salt
1 cup chopped cilantro leaves
1 tablespoon minced garlic
chives, regular chives, or
one scallion minced
1 tablespoon fresh mint,
minced
8 dry rice paper rounds
1 medium cucumber cut into
8 wedges

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

2. Mix the garlic, miso, tamari or soy sauce and vinegar together. Use half of this mixture to coat the chicken. Place the marinated chicken in the oven, skin side up, for 20 to 30 minutes until cooked through (instant read thermometer 175 for thighs, 165 for breasts). Let cool.
   
3. Remove skin. Pull the chicken from the bone. Slice very thinly or pull apart with your fingers. In a small bowl toss the cooled green beans in the remaining miso marinade.
   
4. In colander placed over a bowl to catch drippings, toss the cabbage with 1 teaspoon of salt and let sit to soften slightly, for 10 to 30 minutes.
  
5. Add the chopped cilantro, chives, or scallions and mint to the cabbage and stir.
   
6. When ready to assemble, have all your ingredients ready in bowls or on plates near your work surface: One at a time soak or dip the rice paper sheets in water, according to the package directions. Lay each dampened sheet on a clean surface.

7. Along the center of each round lay approximately a quarter-cup of sliced cabbage mixture; top with a few teaspoons of chicken, one or two slices of cucumber, and 2 to 4 marinated green beans. Fold the edges over by about ½ inch, and roll the rice paper around the filling tightly, burrito style. The rice paper will adhere to itself as the roll is completed. Leave completed rolls seam side down on a dish as you complete the remaining rolls. Because the chicken and green beans are well-seasoned, there is no need for additional dipping sauce.

Per serving: 286 calories; 83 calories from fat; 9.2 g fat; 48 mg cholesterol; 29 g carbohydrate; 6.5 g fiber; 4.5 g sugar; 15.6 g protein; 703 mg sodium

Photo Tour: 10 Incredible Tiny Houses in Japan

Note: Click Title Link for all 10 Homes plus Interior Shots & Text

The Figment Project

To honor the anniversary of Andy Warhol’s birthday, August 6, 2013, The Warhol Museum and EarthCam launched a collaborative project titled Figment, a live feed of Warhol’s gravesite which is viewable 24 hours a day, seven days a week worldwide.

Note: Click Title Link for Viewing.


I never understood why when you died, you didn’t just vanish, and everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn’t be there. I always thought I’d like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph and no name.

Well, actually, I’d like it to say “figment.” -- Andy Warhol

NYT: Writers as Architects

‘A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again’ by David Foster Wallace

‘What We Talk About When We Talk About Love’ by Raymond Carver

‘The Falls’ by George Saunders

Note: Click Title Link for more Architectural Renderings plus Commentary Texts

Proof Reading: Editor Error

So You Think You Know Baseball? A Fan's Guide To The Official Rules by Peter E. Meltzer

More than 50 percent of Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Justin Miller's body (including most of his arms) is covered with body art. MLB thought that the tattoos were distracting and ordered him to wear long-sleeved shirts under his uniform when he pitched. Was the league within its rights?

The rulebook does not contain any specific reference to tattoos. Nevertheless, if MLB believes anything about Miller's overall appearance is distracting to opposing teams, it has discretion to take action. In 2004, Major League Baseball established a rule that forced Miller to wear long sleeves whenever he played. "I didn't want to stare him up and down, but we'll see during the course of his stay here how many tattoos he has," said Florida Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez on his first encounter with his newest pitcher. Miller said at the time of MLB's ruling that he was worried the sleeves would be uncomfortable, especially when it was hot. Three years later, though, he had grown accustomed to the extra clothing and said he actually liked it. How does it feel to tell people you've got a baseball rule named after you? "I don't know," he said, laughing. "They just said it's the 'Justin Miller Rule.'"


On July 27, 2010, the San Francisco Giants were playing the Florida Marlins. Giants pitcher Brian Wilson was wearing orange shoes, as he had done in the All-Star Game. Marlins manager Edwin Rodriguez complained to the umpires about the bright color being a distraction for his team. Wilson was fined $1,000. Were Miller's [sic] shoes prohibited by the rules as being distracting?

Not by the rules but by the Major League Manual. Rule 1.11(a)(3) does prohibit a player from wearing a "uniform" that does not conform to that of his teammates. The only rule that specifically references shoes is 1.11(g), which provides in part that shoes with pointed spikes similar to golf or track shoes are prohibited. However, MLB does require that a player's cleats be at least 50 percent of the team's dominant color, which in the Giant's case would be black. Therefore, Wilson subsequently painted half of his cleats black and dubbed them "Nike Air Sharpies." Asked about the situation -- and Rodriguez calling the shoes "too flashy" -- Wilson gave a pretty amusing answer: "Too flashy. I didn't know that's in the rulebook. Oh, it's not in the rulebook. The fact that he thinks these shoes throw ninety-seven to one hundred with cut might be a little far-fetched. I guess we should have these checked as performance-enhancing shoes."


Chapter 1 - Equipment
pages 4-5
 Published by W.W. Norton & Company, Inc. (2013)
1st Edition

Jupiter Cake

Note: Photo Link Via MTS (Twitter)

Food Critic Humor by Craig LaBan

In few Philadelphia neighborhoods is the natural tension of gentrification between blue-collar old-timers and craft beer-obsessed hipsters as palpable as it is in dynamic Fishtown.

I'm guessing the kale cocktail at Cedar Point Bar & Kitchen isn't going to do much to bridge the divide. It's not so much the vague notion of it being either healthy or trendy - the unfortunate love child of smoothie bar and martini madness - as it is simply a repellent thing to sip, with a silty, pond-green texture and a sour-sweet tinge that pushes the boundaries of virtuous drinking beyond reason.

Like much at Cedar Point, the otherwise inviting and casual gastropub with brew taps a-flowing and a gracious deck perched over a corner of the thriving six-point intersection at the northern edge of Fishtown, the drink's downfall may have simply resulted from sloppy execution. Had the kale juice turned? Or had the bartender just not paid much mind?

A basic Old-Fashioned was equally atrocious. When we dared ask for an actual glass for our Sierra Nevada Torpedo, the pint glass arrived still so drenched with dishwater that it rained on our server's hand when he turned it over: "That's how we do it here," he deadpanned.

Click Here To Read Complete Inquirer Review

Open Letter to Barack Obama

Dear Mr. President,

This letter to you is one of concern and sort of a "state of the union" response if you had asked me (a citizen on the street) "How am I doing?"

I would have to answer, "I think you've lost faith in your voter base." I know the President is under extreme pressure, working basically 24 hours a day, not counting golf-hours (haha!), and has information the regular citizen does not have "legal access" to, but it seems you've begun to think that those with large amounts of money, or those in charge of large amounts of monies, ie, donors/bankers, are the "real or average" American. In other words, you've gone GOP.

Mr. President, to be blunt, I think you've failed re: your election platform (2008 & 2012) -- which was basically... We can improve America by being honest & working hard to better our individual & collective selves.

Sincerely,

[Name Redacted]

Postscript: I'm a "Progressive" who also firmly believes that you don't think anybody is a whistle-blower but only a criminal.

City Paper: The Bell Curve

Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[+2] A West Philly woman is attempting to use crowdfunding on the web to purchase the house she’s been squatting in for the last eight years. “I’ve always wanted to gentrify,” she explains. “I just couldn’t afford it.”

[0] Lightning forces the audience inside the Linc to take shelter during a Taylor Swift concert. Swift, meanwhile, remains on stage, where she is struck by lightning some 31 times with no ill effect.

[+4] A 25-year study performed by area researchers concludes that babies born to crack-addicted mothers have few significant disadvantages intellectually or developmentally. Meaning we had to look at all those horrible photos of tiny, bug-eyed babies for no fucking reason.

[+4] The crack-baby study did determine that poverty was a greater detriment to child development than crack. Go ahead and make us look at photos of poor people all damn day. We won’t feel a thing.

[-1] A posting on Craigslist purports to be written by a Philly mom attempting to arrange a hook-up for her son so he can lose his virginity before enrolling in Harvard. And suddenly a bunch of Wharton kids are wondering if that handjob during orientation wasn’t a miracle after all.

[+1] The 400-passenger Liberty Belle paddlewheel boat, which formerly gave tours on the Delaware, will be auctioned in Baltimore. With that out of the way, there should be less Google Alert confusion for any-body else using that name. Specifically the drill team, the conservative women’s group, the chorus, the roller-derby team, the gun-rights group, the women’s football team, the synchronized-skating team, the Tea Party blogger, the volleyball club and the website offering a “glamorous glance at the world of tactical military jobs with a sexy twist.”
 

[+1] A new study by the Department of Energy finds no evidence that fracking leads to contaminated drinking water. So suck it up, frack babies.
 

This week’s total: +11 | Last week’s total: 0

 

Notebook: Back-Page Info

Table of Troy Weight

24 grains (gr.) = 1 pennyweight (dwt.)
24 pennyweights = 1 ounce (oz.)
12 ounces = 1 pound (lb.)


Table of Circular Measure

60 seconds = 1 minute
60 minutes = 1 degree
360 degrees = 1 circumference

A degree of the earth's surface or a meridian = 69.16 miles at the equator.


Table of Apothecaries' Weight

20 grains (gr.) = 1 scruple
3 scruples = 1 dram
8 drams = 1 ounce
12 ounces = 1 pound (lb.)


Table of Surface Measure

144 sq. in. = 1 sq. ft.
9 sq. ft. = 1 sq. yd.
30 1/4 sq. yds. = 1 sq. rod
160 sq. rods = 1 acre
640 acres = 1 sq. mile

An acre measures 208.71 ft. on each side.
A section of land is 1 sq. mile.
A quarter section 160 160 acres.
A township is 36 sq. miles.

Notebook: Back-Page Info

Table of Linear Measure

12 inches = 1 foot
3 feet = 1 yard
16 1/2 ft. (5 1/2 yds.) = 1 rod
660 feet = 1 furlong
320 rods (5280 ft.) = 1 mile


Miscellaneous Measures

12 units = 1 dozen
12 doz. = 1 gross
12 gr. = 1 great gross
20 units = 1 score
1 hand = 4 inches
1 fathom = 6 feet
1 knot = 6086 feet
3 knots = 1 league
1 bu. potatoes = 60 lbs.
1 barrel flour = 196 lbs.
1 cu.ft. of water = 7.48 liquid gals. and weighs 62.425 lbs.
Diameter of circle x 3.1416 = circumference
Diameter of circle squared x .7854 = area
Atmospheric pressure is 14.7 lbs per sq. in. at sea level
13 1/2 cu.ft. of air weighs 1 lb.


Table of Cubic Measure

1728 cubic inches = 1 cubic foot
27 cubic feet = 1 cubic yard
128 feet = 1 cord of wood
24 3/4 cubic feet = 1 perch of stone

Note: A cord of wood is a pile 8 feet long, 4 feet wide and 4 feet high.
A perch of stone or brick is 16 1/2 feet long, 1 1/2 feet wide, and 1 foot high.


Table of Avoirdupois Weight

16 drams = 1 ounce (oz.)
16 ounces = 1 pound (lb.)
100 pounds = 1 hundredweight (cwt.)
2000 pounds = 1 ton (T.)
2240 pounds = 1 long ton (L.T.)


 

Notebook: Back-Page Info

Table of Time Measure

60 seconds = 1 minute
60 minutes = 1 hour
24 hours = 1 day
7 days = 1 week
30 days = 1 calender month
12 months = 1 year
365 days = 1 common year
366 days = 1 leap year
100 years = 1 century


Table of Dry Measure

2 pints (pt.) = 1 quart (qt.)
8 quarts = 1 peck (pk.)
4 pecks = 1 bushel (bu.)
1 cord = 128 cu. ft.


Table of Liquid Measure

4 gills (gi.) = 1 pint (pt.)
2 pints = 1 quart (qt.)
4 quarts = 1 gallon (gal.)
31 1/2 gallons = 1 barrel (bbl.)
2 barrels = hogshead (hhd.)


Table of Paper Measure

24 sheets = quire
20 quires = 1 ream
10 reams = 1 bale

 

(*) 30,000 Days

30,000 ÷ 365 = 82.191781 (years)

365 x 50 = 18259 (**)

(*) Average Human Life

(**) Total Days Lived not including a few additional "leap year" days plus the past week since July 11th.

6 Days

Have been smoke-free (cigarettes) since July 10th.

Thinking about getting "The Patch" from my doctor.

Food Stuff Consumption

Thursday, July 11th

1 Glass of Water
2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
1 Cheesesteak Hoagie (Classic Roll) with Scramble Eggs, American Cheese & Onions
2 Glasses of Water
3 Potato & Onion Pierogies
4 Potato, Spinach & Feta Cheese Pierogies
Glass of Water
2 Servings of Salisbury Steak with Gravy
1 Orange
2 Glasses of Water
Glass of Milk


Wednesday, July 10th

2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
2 Old Fashion Donuts
1 Glass of Water
2 Pints of Beer (20oz. each)
1 Glass of Water
1 Bottle of Thai Beer (12 Fl. oz.)
3 Shrimp Spring Rolls (Appetizer)
3/4 Serving of Pad Thai
1 Glass of Coke
2 Pints of Beer
1 Bag of Pretzels (net wt. 1 oz.)
1 Pint of Beer
Glass of Water
1 Cup of Coffee (Light)
Celeste 4-Cheese Pizza for One
Celeste Deluxe Pizza for One


Tuesday, July 9th

2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
2 Corn Muffins
2 Pints of Beer
Glass of Water
2 Servings of Pasta with Smoked Oysters
1 Cup of Coffee (Light)
Celeste Sausage Pizza for One
Celeste Vegetable Pizza for One
1 Orange


Monday, July 8th

2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
2 Croissants
1 Pint of Beer
Glass of Water
2 Bowels of Baked Beans
3 Potato & Onion Pierogies
3 Potato, Spinach & Feta Cheese Pierogies
1 Orange


Sunday, July 7th

2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
2 "Everything" Bagels with Veggie Cream Cheese, Cucumbers, Tomatoes, Onions, Salt & Pepper
1 Orange
Glass of Water
2 Ears of White Corn


Saturday, July 6th

2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
1 Pit of Beer
1 Egg Salad Hoagie (Classic Roll) with American Cheese, Onions & Grated Parmesan Cheese
Glass of Water
1 Orange
2 Cheeseburgers with Ketchup
Glass of Water
1 Orange
 

Food Stuff Consumption

Friday, July 5th

2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
2 Old Fashion Donuts
3 Pints of Beer
1/2 Serving of Hamburger Dog with Mustard & Onions on a hotdog bun
3 Pints of Beer
2 Ears of White Corn
Cup of Coffee (Light)
2 Cheeseburgers with Ketchup
1 Orange
1 Glass of Water


Thursday, July 4th

2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
2 Croissants
2 Glasses of Water
2 Slices of American Cheese
2 Cheeseburgers with Ketchup
1 Orange
2 Servings of Steamed Asparagus
1 Glass of Milk
1 Orange
1 Cup of Coffee (Light)


Wednesday, July 3rd

2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
2 Corn Muffins
Glass of Milk
2 Servings of Chicken Strips/Nuggets
Serving of French Fries with Ketchup
1 Apple
2 Oranges
Glass of Water


Tuesday, July 2nd

2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
1 Coffee Roll
1 Bag of Baked Potato Crisps - Sour Cream & Onion Flavored (Net Wt. 1oz.)
2 Slices of American Cheese
2 Cheeseburgers with Ketchup
1 Serving of French Fries with Ketchup
2 Large Glasses of Water
2 Oranges


Monday, July 1st

2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
1 Bag of Baked Potato Crisps - Sour Cream & Onion Flavored (Net Wt. 1 oz.)
2 Pints of Beer
1 Spicy Fiesta Turkey Wrap with Pico De Gallo (Net Wt. 7.2 oz.)
3 Pints of Beer
1 Chicken Salad Hoagie (Classic Roll) with American Cheese, Sweet Peppers, Pickles & Grated Parmesan Cheese
2 Glasses of Water


Sunday, June 30th

Cup of Coffee (Light)
1 Apple
Cup of Coffee (Light)
1 Buffalo Chicken Cheesesteak Hoagie (Classic Roll) with American Cheese, Onions, Jalapenos & Grated Parmesan Cheese
2 Glasses of Water
1 Apple
 

Food Stuff Consumption

Saturday, June 29th

2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
1 Hash Brown (net wt. 2.4 oz.)
1 Sausage, Egg & Cheese Sizzli Bagel (net wt. 6.3 oz.)
1 Bacon, Egg & Cheese Sizzli Croissant (net wt. 4.8 oz)
4 Pints of Beer
#2 Chinese Takeout - Sesame Chicken, Eggroll, Pork Fried Rice plus Soda (12 fl. oz.)
1 Apple


Friday, June 28th

1 Cup of Coffee (Light/Sweet)
3 Pints of Beer
1 Cup of Coffee (Light)
Plain Bagel with Veggie Cream Cheese, Cucumbers, Tomatoes, Onion, Salt & Pepper
1 Cup of Coffee (Light)
3 Peanut Butter & Strawberry Jam Sandwiches
Glass of Water
2 Servings of Spaghetti with Meat Sauce
1 Apple


Thursday, June 27th

2 Cups of Coffee (Light)
1 Croissant
1 Apple
Glass of Water
1 Bag (net wt. 1 oz.) of Baked Potato Crisps - Sour Cream & Onion Flavored
1 Cup of Coffee (Light)
4 Pints of Beer
Sm Bag of Pretzels
1 Cup of Coffee (Light)
Chef Salad (net wt. 10.8 oz.) - Romaine & Iceberg Lettuce, Egg, Ham, Swiss Cheese, Turkey Breast, Carrots, Grape Tomatoes, Parmesan Cheese, Seasoned Croutons, & Italian Dressing
8 Saltine Crackers
Glass of Water
2 Peanut Butter & Strawberry Jam Sandwiches


Wednesday, June 26th

Cup of Coffee (Light/Sweet)
3 Pints of Beer
Sm Bag of Pretzels
Shot of Whiskey
Pint of Beer
1 Apple
Glass of Water
Cup of Coffee (Light/Sweet)
Chicken Salad Hoagie (Classic Roll) with American Cheese, Sweet Peppers, Pickles, Onions, and Grated Parmesan cheese
2 Glasses of Water
1 Apple


Tuesday, June 25th

2 Cups of Coffee (Light/Sweet)
Slice of Cheese Pizza
Glass of Water
1 Apple
Glass of Water
3 Slices of Pepperoni Pizza
Glass of Milk
1 Apple
2 Peanut Butter & Strawberry Jam Sandwiches
Glass of Milk


Monday, June 24th

Cup of Coffee (Light/Sweet)
2 Peanut Butter, Strawberry Jam & Potato Chips Sandwiches
1 Apple
Glass of Water
Cup of Coffee (Cream)
2 Slices of Pizza (3 Cheeses)
Glass of Water

Six Months - Six Cookie Fortunes

Pay attention, an opportunity will knock on your door.

Learn Chinese:

To see a doctor - kan bing

Lucky Numbers:

2, 9, 15, 6, 42, 46


Including others in your life will bring you great happiness.

Learn Chinese:

Fish - yu

Lucky Numbers:

48, 14, 52, 28, 51, 56


Give what you have; to someone it may be better than you dare to think.

Learn Chinese:

Egg roll - chun juan

Lucky Numbers:

29, 50, 24, 15, 47, 19


Genius does what it must, and talent does what it can.

Learn Chinese:

Potato - malingshu

Lucky Numbers:

52, 38, 39, 34, 33, 29


You will be fortunate in everything you put your hands to.

Learn Chinese:

A moment - yi hui er

Lucky Numbers:

2, 13, 50, 55, 31, 51


You will move to a wonderful new home within the year.

Learn Chinese:

Please - qing

Lucky Numbers:

53, 10, 29, 14, 1, 21

The Waffleman: Public Record Column

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler and I can prove it," say Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "Okay. Go ahead."

Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet." Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his upper and lower dentures and gently bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand - with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. "Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa says. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's now way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

So Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and put his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

Says the attorney, "This morning, when Grandpa told me he's been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!"


The Public Record
Vol. XV No. 23 (Issue 699)
Published June 20, 2013
Column: The Waffleman
Page 6

Humor Train: Helpful Household Tips

_\o/_

Do You Believe?  Conversations on God & Religion by Antonio Monda
Published 2007 by Vintage Books (Division of Random House, Inc.)

The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh
Published 1998 by Broadway Books

Legends of the Great Chiefs by Emerson N. Martin
Published 1972 by Thomas Nelson Inc.

The Holy and the Profane - Evolution of Jewish Folkways by Theodor H. Gaster
Published 1980 by William Morrow & Company, Inc.

The Philadelphia Inquirer's Walking Tours of Historic Philadelphia by Edward Colimore
Published 2007 by Camino Books

The Art of Serving Food Attractively by Mary Albert Wenker
Published 1951 by Doubleday & Company, Inc.

The World of Flying Saucers by Donald H. Menzel & Lyle G. Boyd
Published 1963 by Doubleday & Company, Inc.


Note: The Above List Is A Back-Up Pile of Books Used To Raise the “Rabbit Ears” Television Antennae Base (When Needed) for Better Reception. Don't Have Cable.

Stats

Current Reading Pile

A More Perfect Heaven: How Copernicus Revolutionized The Cosmos
by Dava Sobel
Published by Walker Publishing Co. (Bloomsbury)
2011

Inventing Wine: A New History of One of The World's Most Ancient Pleasures
by Paul Lukacs
Published by W.W. Norton & Co.
2012

I Dreamed I Was A Very Clean Tramp: An Autobiography
by Richard Hell
Published by Harpers-Collins
2013

How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe
by Charles Yu
Published by Pantheon Books
2010


On Reserve:

Dirty Wars: The World Is A Battlefield
by Jeremy Scahill

The Jump Artist by Austin Ratner

A Hologram for the King by Dave Eggers
(FLP Book Club - Richmond Branch)

(*) Doonesbury: The Last Waltz

(*) Side Show Note: Doonesbury on Break

FYI - Doonesbury is on hiatus all summer while G.B. Trudeau is engaged in other projects (namely, the online show "Alpha House.")

Eleventy Humor: Comment Section

A^x + B^y = C^z

"$1 million is not 9 figures. Great job on the math skills."

re: $1 million is not 9 figures

It is when using synonymous thinking grounded in mathematics.

Over The Hedge: The Band

NY Times: Rankings of Recent Fall Albums

RE-MIT by The Fall

Rating among recent Fall albums: Better than “Ersatz GB” (the 29th); far better than “Reformation Post TLC” (26th); not as good as “Your Future Our Clutter” (28th) and a full mile worse than “Imperial Wax Solvent” (27th). Go get it. -- Ben Ratliff


Note: This review has been peer-approved by FallNet

Motion: Le mystère Picasso

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More: The Zervos Picasso Catalog -  A Tome to Rival the Artist Himself

Still Lifes: Artists & Their Studios

Constantin Brancusi studio, taillant a la scie une Colonne sans fin ca. 1924-1925

 

Jackson Pollock studio, ca. 1950, Springs, Long Island, New York

 

Andy Warhol in his studio with others

 

Roy Lichtenstein, studio, Southampton, New York

 

 

Frank Stella

Lucian Freud

 

Anselm Kiefer