Sunday, March 20, 2011

Spring Training Humor by David Boyer

Phillies injuries you likely missed

General manager Ruben Amaro Jr. could not explain how the dangerous farm implement got onto the field at the Phillies' spring training complex in Clearwater, Fla. But he speculated that the grounds crew mistook it for a riding mower.

"We were able to save Carlos' arm, but a thresher injury needs time to heal," Amaro said. "Thank goodness it happened in spring training and not during the regular season - or during the autumn harvest, for that matter."

The setback for Ruiz, the only .300 hitter in the Phils' regular lineup last year, is the latest in a troubling string of injuries to strike the team. Due to tendinitis in his right knee, All-Star second baseman Chase Utley has been restricted to fielding while seated in a Barcalounger. The team is seeking a waiver of a major-league rule prohibiting furniture on the field of play.

Rightfielder Domonic Brown, meanwhile, broke a bone in his hand while swinging a bat. The mishap alarmed manager Charlie Manuel, who cautioned his players against swinging bats. But that proved to be a poor strategy for Phils batters.

Brown's injury was followed by bad news about relief pitcher Brad Lidge, whose bicep hurts when he throws a baseball. Throwing a baseball is considered integral to Lidge's game.

Lidge sought the advice of the team physician, saying, "It hurts when I do this." The doctor replied, "Then don't do that."

Then came an elbow injury for third baseman Placido Polanco, who apparently didn't get the memo about the risks of bat-swinging.

More inexplicable and bedeviling injuries were to come. First baseman Ryan Howard was put on the disabled list after he accidentally inhaled a sunflower seed in the dugout. And centerfielder Shane Victorino is out with persistent acid reflux.

But it was Ruiz's unexpected encounter with the thresher that really made the team wonder whether its promising season might be jinxed.

"Baseball players are superstitious," Utley explained. "Even saying it out loud makes me worry that something else might - ouch. Ouch!"


Published Friday, March 18th
Page A19
The Philadelphia Inquirer