Monday, January 24, 2011

City Paper's Bell Curve

Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[+8] Police make an arrest in the Kensington Strangler case. Reached for comment, the suspect says he supports the elimination of the Sheriff's Office.

[+1] State Rep. Paul I. Clymer tells the Philadelphia School Reform Commission that he has "serious concerns" and "if we don't get a serious response, then we'll have to pursue other alternatives." Adding: "First off, we recommend extending Arlene Ackerman's contract for 35 years with annual raises of 25 percent."

[0] Gov. Tom Corbett is sworn into office. Meanwhile, the subterranean fires of Centralia gather strength and threaten to march west toward Marcellus Shale.

[0] Former Gov. Ed Rendell supports program giving stray cats and dogs to prisoners. "All of a sudden, recidivism's looking like a win-win," says Michael Vick. "I just really enjoy killing dogs. I do not care where."

[-5] Every day, on average, two water mains break in Philadelphia, which sometimes leads to millions of gallons of water pouring onto the street. Bonus spraygrounds, you guys!

[0] Harrah's Entertainment offers to loan Foxwoods $19 million — up from $10 million — in order to win back its license. "We have a system," says Harrah's. "It's totally foolproof."

[0] Gov. Tom Corbett uses William Penn's Bible in his inauguration ceremony. "I tried to get him to use my Tijuana Bible," laughs Rendell. "But he had it deported."

[+3] The interim executive director of the Philadelphia Housing Authority kicks off his new position by imposing a no-gifts policy on all employees. "And that's why I forgot to bring bagels."

[-2] Police pull two cars from the Schuylkill River in a week. "Don't worry," says Rendell, toweling off. "They're just Zipcars."

[+1] The State Department chooses a film about Allen Iverson to be among the 18 American documentaries that it will show in worldwide screenings. The question is: Will the montage end on "I get knocked down" or "I get up again"?


This week's total: 6 | Last week's total: -4